I knew that my Mom had always felt guilty about the events that occurred when I was a child. There was a lot of tumultuous emotions, and not a lot of stability (I had moved 19 times by the time I turned 18!).
For the longest time, I was angry at what I lacked when I was a child. I thought a lot about how differently I had wanted things to go, and that maybe I would be further along financially, psychologically, perhaps even spiritually if things were different. Practising mindfulness and active gratitude over the last couple of years has changed my viewpoint.
I realised that my mother did the best she could, what she thought was right at the time with the tools she had. Forgiveness would not only be a weight off her shoulders but also a gift to myself. So, I called her up and let her know how my view had transformed. I told her not to let the past hold her back, and that I had forgiven her for any wrongdoing that she perceived she had committed.
I have three kids myself now, and my goal is to provide them with a loving and stable childhood. Shouldn’t we try to give to the world what we feel was lacking for us? I think that is the right thing to do.
My mother was extremely grateful to hear those words from me and expressed her gratitude. She is now a very loving and present source of energy for her grandchildren. She is also giving what she felt she should have or could have given more of as a parent.