My life had been without too many highs and lows. I was a homemaker dedicated to family. By 2005 my children were settled, and my husband retired. When he died suddenly, I went blank, not knowing what to do. I had been to Kailash Mansarovar once. So I just packed my stuff and informed my boys. The trip was an eye-opener for me. Because of a lack of oxygen, I nearly died, but a doctor in the group saved me. I realized that I was caught up with only my emotions and that I did not think about how the children were coping with the grief, not even about my husband’s brothers, who were very close to him. Grief had made me very selfish and self-pitying. All the sadhana I did was forgotten. At that point, it was as if God himself opened my eyes and heàrt. I got out of the selfish mode, vowed to think of others, and live with the thought that I had a happy married life, so no more grieving. So I decided to celebrate life, seeing every day as a blessing. I learned to be kind to myself.
Grief makes you weak, selfish and guilty. Celebrate life and count each day as a blessing.
~ Sharada Gopalakrishnan